The Importance Of Friendship, Family And Finding Your Home

My outfit details can be found at PARIS FASHION WEEK: PATCHWORK SUEDE AND TARTAN SKORT. Anna's outfit details can be found at PRETTY GIRLS MAKES GRAVES.

When I was in Paris recently, I had the pleasure of shooting these lovely photos with one of my best friends, Anna. Having been back to my hometown of Bristol, visiting friends in London and then in Paris all within the space of a few weeks, it has got me thinking about ‘home’. What is a home? What does ‘home’ mean and where is my ‘home’? The old saying goes, ‘home is where the heart is’ but it is certainly not that simple for me.

I met Anna when we worked together in a vintage shop in Paris and for most of my two years in Paris we were inseparable. Of course on the surface we are similar because we are both image-conscious vintage fashion obsessed twenty-somethings but we also just completely get each other. I spent nearly every day with Anna as we worked and partied together, shared everything with each other until suddenly that all changed when I moved away to Barcelona. That is the reality of living abroad – people always leave or YOU leave and it can be really hard to adjust.

I am in Barcelona with the man of my dreams so for that part of my heart, I am definitely in the right place. However, as cities go, I do not think Barcelona has got my heart. Ever since I returned from Paris I have been racking my brains of a way to move back there - with a good job waiting for me I mean. I am convinced that is what I want but then Lewis reminds me that when I was back in Bristol I just wanted to stay forever. 

Call me fickle. Call me indecisive. Call me what you want but the reason for this must be because I feel at home in a few different places but at the same time I feel like I do not have a home anymore. It is a strange thing to describe but whenever I am back in England it seems as though nothing has changed but at the same time people have moved on and sometimes I do not know how to fit into their lives anymore.

I hope this does not come across as complaining because, in fact, it is quite the opposite. I am overwhelmed with emotion about how lucky I am to have these amazing family and friends in my life but the fact that they are not all in my life day to day is really sad. I know that I have chosen a life of living abroad in as many places as possible before I feel pressure from society (and myself) to settle down but then how will I choose?

I want to find that perfect apartment. I want to decorate it with photos and art and maps of the world. I want to buy bohemian armchairs and a heck load of plants. I want to finally have all my things in one place and stop having those mornings staring at my wardrobe wishing I could wear something that is back in Bristol that did not quite make the cut to come with me abroad. All of these things would be great and would go a long way to making a home, physically, but a home is more than that. It is about belonging and right now I feel a bit lost. However, I have every confidence that I will find clarity and I cannot wait to find the little corner of this Earth that I can call my own.  

Izzie x

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